How I Survived A Bar Situation Without Injury

People sometimes ask me if I’ve ever had to use my Krav Maga training in a real-life situation.  This is the story of how I used Krav Maga to survive without injury in a bar situation involving three other men.

At the time I was a P2 or new P3.  I was in a Hell’s Kitchen bar at night with my wife and another couple.  We had not been drinking long when three men in their late 20’s settled near us and began talking very loudly.  One of them was so loud that I couldn’t hear my companions next to me. Soon my ears were hurting.

So I asked him to quiet down, which he did.  However, he and his friends began talking amongst themselves and I was aware of them glancing over at me.  My companions became uneasy and I could feel the tension in the air. There are times when you can feel a confrontation is coming, and I recognized that something needed to be done.  

I turned to the loudest guy and said, “Hey, I didn’t mean anything by that.  I respect you. Can I buy you a beer?” He said, “What? Really?” I said, “Yeah, sure.  What would you like?” I got him the beer and we smoothed things over.  I learned he was out with his two friends who were visiting him from South America.  There were mucho gusto’s all around and we ended up speaking a little Spanish together.  It turned into a nice, positive experience. The end.

We’ve trained this scenario in class.  Let’s examine the real thing in more detail.  

Setting: Despite its name, Hell’s Kitchen is not the dangerous area it once was.  I would have been far more guarded in a tougher bar, but because attacks can happen anywhere, situational awareness is always important.  It’s fundamental to Krav Maga.

Response:  Remember Imi’s words: “We train so that we may walk in peace.”  Whenever possible, de-escalation should be tried before physical action.  Self-confidence, respect for others, and the willingness to resolve rather than antagonize were also key.

What more could I have done?  When I asked them to quiet down, I don’t remember if I said “please” but I definitely should have.  I know I was annoyed and I probably conveyed some of that annoyance in my tone. These mistakes would have given them reason to react negatively to me.  Talking in a level, calm voice and explaining oneself conveys self-confidence and respect. In fact, the words “I respect you” may be all the other person needs to hear to avoid further conflict.

I’m also not 100% certain that I used semi-passive stance when I addressed them, which I definitely should have done in case their reaction was belligerent.  I remember not being afraid at all – that really struck me. I suspect they could sense this, and perhaps it gave power to my offer. It also allowed me to be conciliatory without being apologetic.  I remember from class that apologizing without cause can be seen as a sign of weakness. (Plus I had no reason to apologize: I hadn’t bumped into them, stepped on their feet, or spilled their beer).

Luckily, everyone involved was reasonable and not hell-bent on throwing punches.  What might have become an ugly (and dangerous!) multiple attacker scenario with third party protection implications, police involvement, legal hassles, etc. instead became a cool social interaction.  All it took was a $6 pint of beer and some Krav Maga.

Cheers, KMI NYC!

-Tom K.